Stray thoughts of Dr. Y. V. Rao -5
Dr. Yerneni Venkateswara Rao
M.Sc.,
Ph. D
Retired
Principal
GUDIVADA- A.P
yernenivrao@gmail.comh.
B 2-8
To
jump over or to go round?
As a
rule, life is conflict ridden and as such we are apt to be up against seemingly
irreconcilable choices every now and then . To make a choice in haste and
repent at leisure is the easier and more usual and common place alternative,
but to be able to recognize all the irreconcilable antagonisms that make our
life “so enigmatic , so burdensome, so fascinating, so dangerous, so full of
hope and dreams” and to work out a smooth and harmonious reconciliation
between, and integration of the opposites is the other and, far and away, the
better alternative, though a somewhat laborious and often times frustratingly
time consuming one. However, it is necessary to remind oneself of the delicate
balance one has to strike in order to achieve such integration. It is somewhat
akin to the grip with which a tigress holds its new/just born cub in its mouth
while lifting it avoiding any injury to it either through the very act of
holding it or by accidentally dropping it; the grip should be gentle enough not
to hurt the cub and firm enough not to drop it. Extraordinary vigilance and one
pointed concentration are what are needed to accomplish the task.
All in all, it is at once the ideal and the
practical approach to life’s myriad contradictions lesser mortals however will
invariably succumb to the temptation to jump over for they find it too
irresistible to overcome only to discover to their utter chagrin that the cost
involved is far too steep for them to pay.
Need it be said that it is wiser to go slowly
and reach the right destination than to go at great speed to the wrong one?
Besides, the longer way round may sometimes prove quicker than direct assault
and yield longer lasting and more beneficial results.
What is more, harmony works better than
conflict always and everywhere.
B2-9
Most men are like ice bergs, with only their
tips above the ocean surface. The overwhelming bulk underneath constantly tugs
at each to drag him down to lower and lower levels , and most accept it as
inevitable and succumb to the downward pull. A few are individuals however
succeed in buoying themselves up and keep themselves wholly above the surface
with no thought about, nor concern for what others view and zealously guard as
purely personal and strictly private domain of life as if to show/ prove that
dissent into depths after all is not that inevitable and that the power to pull
oneself up lies hidden in everyone, ready to be tapped/harnessed. Their life is
their message. They are the ‘salt of the earth’.
B2-10
An expert
consultant is one who readily sees a problem where there exists none and as
readily comes up with a solution and removes any doubt in your mind by
presenting you with a hefty bill for the services rendered.
B2-11
Lovers
love and respect each other as long as they remain (as) lovers. Every moment of
their togetherness brings oodles of joy and happiness. Life appears to be a
great fete to be celebrated and rejoiced. To them, everything is hunky dory.
Riding as they do on the crest of a romantic wave, “even life in a shack seems
like paradise”. What they ignore is the fact that it will be so until the first
frost sets in. Once they decide to tie the knot, take the plunge and are united in
marriage, the first flush of romance subsides as they get to know each other ,
warts and all. Boredom and discordance set in as the lovey-dovey phase draws to
a close. Familiarity begins to breed contempt and soon their rainbow
relationship will be drained of its colour and charm – a normal process that
leads to a lot of worry, weariness and weeping over the lost horizon. However,
as the couple travel together taking tough decisions, making painful
compromises and shedding acquired obduracies, life, that demanding teacher and
hard task master, both disciplines and teaches them how to look inwards and
reach for the hidden treasures/ resources waiting to be tapped. And as their
understanding of the deeper layers of life grows and intimacy advances, their
relationship acquires a greater substance and assumes a newer significance as
reflected in their being lost in each other as a matter of course every so
often. But as the euphoria and zeal and energy of youth are replaced by the
maturity and mellowness of advancing age, their relationship will be broadened
and deepened so as to make it possible for them to outgrow their yearning for ,
and transcend the transient pleasures of, youthful dalliance and infatuation
appropriate to age but usually mistaken for love. Occasional introspection,
that prime requirement for a balanced relationship and a blissful marital life
subdues the urge for making undue demands on/for each other’s attention and
obviates the need for taming each other by making them reflect if they are
totally right in every respect and are not fallible like others after all.
Somewhere along the way, the spouses get
promoted as parents. Their life acquires a newer dimension and the saga of
their lives starts unfolding on a higher plane. They speak of simple things of
loving, caring and sharing.
They then begin to seek the more permanent
joys of life—the joys of giving rather than getting, of sharing rather than
holding and of giving up rather than clinging to. Each vies with the other in
subordinating his/her needs to facilitate the gratification of the other’s
desires , even whims and fancies, and the two together bend over backwards to
satisfy every wish of their offspring. In this unconscious race for the sublime
fulfilment of their lives as ideal life partners , each loses his/her self
identity in their quintessential togetherness with no thought for any reward
other than the simple joys of a sharing-and- giving relationship that marks
them out as an exemplary couple. While they thus advance further in age and
maturity , and reach their sunset years
when the once fiercely blazing coals of passionate desires are reduced
to smouldering embers, when the raging craze for carnal pleasures yields place
to fading memories , they find enough leisure to mull over their life together
and discover that they not only walk one path but also think identical thoughts
, speak the same language , dream similar dreams, enjoy the same things,
harbour common interests and work towards concurrent goals.
As their relationship thus moves in a
constructive direction leading to greater coherence, harmony, equilibrium and
integrity in their life, true love , love as distinct from possessiveness, love
that needs no reason blossoms and permeates every facet of their lives. What is
more, it imbues and informs all their other relationships with a deeper meaning and a profounder significance,
and under the benevolent impact of such love without ownership, the lovers
transformation into husband-father and wife-mother progresses steadily
culminating in their becoming two good emotionally and spiritually evolved
human beings, consummated in their sublime union where in each is lost to
him/herself with austerity , altruism and serenity writ large on their faces,
indeed these become their hallmarks.
B2-12
That I am too rich to borrow and too poor to
lend makes it so much the easier for me to live by the sage to counsel of the
Bard of Avon—“Neither a lender nor a borrower be”.
Yet, at the same time, wisdom born of
experience reminds me that I am not so rich as not to need to cut down on my
needs nor too poor to give to a good cause; there is ample scope for both.
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